Growth Rooted in Connection
Photo Credit: Craig Strahorn
"There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about." – Margaret J. Wheatley
In today’s blog, I’m exploring the concept of self-growth as part of a community through the metaphor of Trembling Aspens, one of the most common trees in Manitoba. The Canadian prairies are not highly fertile soils. Extreme weather fluctuations create environmental challenges for a young tree to overcome. Yet these trees flourish by forming root colonies that connect one tree to another. I believe human beings are the same—we reach our highest purpose through our connections and loving relationships.
Growth comes in many forms but often the pivotal moments are born out of challenges that require us to step out of our comfort zones as a community. Huge growth spurts can be painful. I remember how my son’s knees ached when he leaped six inches in one summer. As a collective, we are living in a time of chaos that is breaking down unity and stunting our growth. If we can learn to grow together as a community, the potential for positive change is limitless.
The first hurdle for the Aspen tree is for the seedling to take root in the soil. Similarly, a newly formed human embryo needs the safety and nutrients of the mother’s womb to transform into a fetus. When the time is ripe, the seedling pushes through the soil, just as a mother pushes her baby through the birth canal. The pushing phase is hard but the outcome is a miraculous new life.
Each step on the journey, for the young tree and young child alike, is a process of growth. There are periods when not much seems to happening, and others when the changes are boggling to observe. The aspen seed germinates for two to four weeks, then enters juvenile growth for three to five years. Mature development takes another twenty to thirty years. A baby becomes a toddler at age two, a child at four, and enters adolescence around age ten. We’re considered adults at age eighteen, but our process of maturation easily takes as long an aspen tree.
When I look back at my life, the times of my greatest growth were when I pushed through fear to move forward instead of backwards and when I had the courage to accept help from others. Birthing my first child at age seventeen and putting myself through university as a single mother was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever set my mind to but I couldn’t have done it without my parents’ support and the love and encouragement of many others.
As a mature tree bears fruit, I was blessed with two more beautiful babies. In the years that followed, the torrential winds of life’s hardships knocked me off my feet so many times I felt sure I would be uprooted. In my early 40s, I reached a pinnacle moment of crisis where I considered taking my own life. I found the courage to admit myself into the hospital to get help from the words of my son-in-law. When my oldest daughter moved mountains to travel from San Francisco to be with me, her support united with medical professionals pulled me through.
I had my first glimpse of enlightenment in the hospital, but the awareness retreated, back and forth, like the sun moving behind a cloud, blocking a tree from receiving life-giving light. My battle to find the courage to leave a dysfunctional, abusive marriage took four years to come to fruition, partly because it was a decision I had to make on my own. Some people in my community supported me, but others thought I should stay and I struggled with the conflict.
It was only clear after I left that it was the right decision, and that was because of how I felt— strong and free. In that space of healthy self-growth, I met Mister. Our partnership is like the Aspen tree colonies; our roots are intertwined so completely they almost seem like one. The strength of our partnership has carried me through so much, including seven years living as an ex-pat in Saudi Arabia. It wasn’t easy and it was often uncomfortable but I gained a greater understanding of a different culture and awareness that all humanity is connected.
When I wrote and published my first novel, The Healing, based on real life experiences, I had to push through backlash from my family. My healing process felt disrespectful to them and they didn’t agree with my point of view. Instead of support and strength, I received criticism and judgment. When my oldest daughter chose to cut me out of her and her son’s life because of it, I felt like an axe had chopped off two of my limbs and my self-growth became stifled.
For years I thought I could never be happy, that I would never produce flowers again, only leaves. But while the pain left a deep scar on my heart, like a tree whose bark is ripped off in a storm, my skin grew thicker. My move to Winnipeg is helping me to heal from the hurt of that loss as I strengthen family ties here. Nothing can ever replace her or my grandson but the joy and love I feel for Mister’s family is forming a new community as our roots grow and intertwine.
Most recently, my diagnosis of cancer has me feeling the uncertainty and discomfort that health challenges bring. I don’t know where it’s leading me, or what new fruit of self-growth will be produced. My spirit whispers to trust the process of life. I am strong and resilient. I am connected, loved, and supported in community. And so I step forward towards growth, rooted.
COMING UP…
Books & Projects:
· All four of my books are available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo, and Barnes & Noble. You can also find them at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.
· I am pursuing representation from a traditional publisher for my fifth literary fiction, a psychological drama that explores the complexities of mental illness and trauma. Stay in touch by signing up for my blog or following me on social media to find out when it will be published.
Reviews & Interviews:
· You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.
Events:
· There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.
YouTube Channel:
· Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer.
· Watch The Holding trailer.
· Watch The Healing trailer.