Soul Solstice

Photo Credit: Pedro Lastra

“Our way is not soft grass; it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards, forward, toward the sun.” ~ Ruth Westheimer

June 21 is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. A solstice is an event in which a planet's poles are most extremely inclined toward or away from the star it orbits. It marks a time of transition, which I believe the entire world is currently experiencing. The divisions, conflict and chaos that we are witnessing are extreme poles. We are inclined away from one another. Instead of resisting, we must walk the mountain path with lots of rocks and take advantage of the opportunity for growth by moving upwards, forward, toward the sun.

The email I referenced in my last blog had the power to throw me off my path because I allowed it to create a flicker of hope in my heart for the possibility of healing and reconciliation from the conflict that has divided my family. I thought perhaps a miracle was about to unfold that would undo the past in the present and thus release me from a future without her, my firstborn daughter, and him, my firstborn grandson. I felt the grief and loss I’ve relived again and again and again.

This time around, my sadness converged with my disappointment and frustration in facing yet another delay for Mister’s surgery. I fell far from my path and an avalanche of heavy rocks fell upon me. I found myself questioning everything I thought I knew. It felt like “my life” was crumbling all around me, that nothing was sacred or certain, everything shifting. The feeling of darkness overwhelming light is one I know too well, but knowing it birthed my awareness. I knew what I had to do. I had to start moving upwards, forward, toward the sun.

To climb out of my rock-pit of despair, I had to first process my heavy emotions. I wrote my feelings and reflections in my journal. I resurrected healing yin yoga practices. I engaged in puzzle therapy with Mister. I napped. A lot. I took Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life from my bookshelf and looked up possible emotional causes of cancer. “Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secrets and grief eating away at the self. Thoughts like, what’s the use?” I realized I had written those exact words, “what’s the use?” in last week’s blog, Toxic Clutter.

I believe my journey is mirrored in the collective experiences of all human beings. In Canada, there is a growing awareness around the need for healing and reconciliation between people of European ancestry and Indigenous peoples. Here in Manitoba, Premier Wab Kinew is doing an amazing job at bridging the gap. He’s encouraging non-Indigenous people not to feel threatened, but rather to recognize that everyone benefits from a society comprised of healthy, whole individuals. It takes both sides for reconciliation to occur, but we all have the ability to heal.

I haven’t been able to achieve reconciliation in some personal relationships where the other person isn’t willing, but I have with others. My mom and I have come a long way, even though we live far away from one another. Mister and I have both been strengthening family relationships here in Winnipeg. We want to be a part of the growth-mindset championed by our Premier, to learn more about the diversity of people who call this great province home. We want to understand the people we love and relate with them better, so we can move forward together.

While I may not be able to achieve reconciliation with some of the people I love, I can heal myself by forgiving them with a loving heart and releasing the past. This is good news for you, dear reader. No more blogs about the pain of the past! I’m choosing to let it all go and move forward, toward the sun. I’m lifting all rock-obstacles from my path, one at a time. I’m embracing growth, healing and reconciliation in the present moment. A soul solstice journey upwards and forward on this, the longest day of the year.

COMING UP…

Books & Projects:

·      All four of my books are available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo, and Barnes & Noble. You can also find them at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.

·      I am pursuing representation from a traditional publisher for my fifth literary fiction, a psychological drama that explores the complexities of mental illness and trauma. Stay in touch by signing up for my blog or following me on social media to find out when it will be published.

Reviews & Interviews:

·      You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.

Events:

·      There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.

YouTube Channel:

·      Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer.

·      Watch The Holding trailer.

·      Watch The Healing trailer.