Equality for Everyone
Photo Credit: Tim Mossholder
“Women should not have to adopt masculine traits in order to succeed. You should be able to stay as a woman, and in tune with your femininity, and still be equal.” ~ Isla Fischer
Sunday, March 8 is International Women’s Day and in today’s musings blog I’m exploring what feminine energy and equality mean for me within the context of current societal values and attitudes in Canada. Recently I got into a passionate debate with close friends, who disagreed with my position that equality for women continues to progress, despite some setbacks. While they stated the current patriarchal and misogynistic climate is testimony to a regressive trend, I contend that the human race is continuously evolving.
Feminine energy doesn’t belong solely to the female gender. Men share feminine characteristics of nurturing, creativity, empathy, intuition and compassion too. Similarly, masculine attributes of assertiveness, structure, problem solving and analytical thinking are not reserved for men only. Neither one is better than the other, and in truth, wellbeing is achieved in the acceptance of all human traits as they are expressed in each unique individual. All human beings have different ratios of these contrasting energies, which together create balanced people and communities.
Grandmothers born before 1918 were not allowed to vote in public elections in Canada. They were considered property of their husbands or fathers. In my mother’s time, the roles of men and women were still very traditional, with women expected to stay at home and raise children while men worked outside the home to earn money. There were, of course, exceptions. My mother was a pioneer in her time. She attended Teachers college and taught school before marriage. After having children, she choose to work part time once my brother and I were of school age.
My mother raised me with the belief that I could become anyone I chose, that my destiny was in my own hands. She held fast to the notion that public education could break barriers for people of all genders, socioeconomic backgrounds, races and religions. When my brother and I were still toddlers, she sold Encyclopedia Britannica as a side gig, and the Childcraft series was a foundational learning resource in our home.
In high school, I dreamed of becoming a journalist or an interior designer, but when I found out I was pregnant in grade twelve, I had to rethink my path forward. It was a difficult decision to switch gears and choose to become a teacher. I felt I was letting the women’s equality movement down, not doing my part to achieve progress. But in the end I willingly made the sacrifice to put my daughter’s wellbeing first, and I have never once regretted any choices I’ve made to make family a priority. As it turned out, I enjoyed my career as a teacher and my feminine qualities of nurturing and encouraging others fostered strength-based learning and student confidence.
I have three daughters and a son, and they have all chosen very different life paths. Taking a page from my mother’s book, I always encouraged my children to follow their hearts and dream big, to become who they want to be, including choosing their own career path. They’ve had even greater and more vast opportunities than my mother or I, and yet they also have their own set of pressures to conform. Just the other day, my son shared how his generation leans so heavily on self-centered goals over a focus on family and community. There is still an expectation that men achieve career success and be the pillars of the family’s financial wellbeing. And while women have never had a stronger presence in the workforce, they aren’t being supported to stay home with their children full time and they still carry the bulk of childcare and domestic work.
I’ve watched a few series lately where women are portrayed with masculine traits as an attempt to achieve equal status with men. Lioness is an example, where the main characters, played by Zoe Zaldaña, Laysla De Oliveira, and Nicole Kidman, are all tough females. Physically they have small breasts, are very muscular, lean and strong, and are tough enough to fight against men and win. Emotionally they are cold and detached, making decisions that affect others based on logistics. They have careers that used to be dominated by men. In the main character’s home, it is her husband who provides the bulk of child and home care, despite being a neurosurgeon with crazy long hours himself. The show romanticizes war and violence and puts career success for both men and women above supporting and making sacrifices for their children, who are clearly floundering. These portrayals of women are not only unrealistic, in my opinion they are unhealthy. Women do not achieve equality by being like men. They achieve equality by being accepted as they are, whatever that looks like, as individuals. All women are not alike.
It’s my belief that social climates shift from one generation to another and there will always be outside voices pushing certain agendas or espousing the “right” way to live. Regardless of the types of external pressures, our challenge is to resist the urge to let the opinions of others sway us from what we believe in our hearts to be the right way for us. I believe we have to look inward to find the solutions that are best suited to us as individuals. That doesn’t mean listening to the advice of other’s has no value. We can all benefit from the experiences and wisdom of others. Still, I contend that when looking for inspiration and guidance, we’re better off taking cues from our close family and friends, whose values are often in alignment with our own, then whatever the current media influencers have to say.
Isla Fischer stated that women should be able to embrace their femininity and still be equal. I would like to expand her vision to include all people. All people of all genders, ethnicities, religions and political leanings. We should all be able to live with autonomy, to choose our own unique path, and be regarded as equal. It isn’t equality if we have to change who we are to receive it. Our strength is embedded in our diversity. There is space for us all on this big, beautiful planet to become who we were created to be and to achieve equality for everyone.
COMING UP…
Books & Projects:
· In December 2025 I signed a contract with Austin Macauley Publishers for my manuscript, The Trials of Alex Anderson, a character-driven novel that explores the relationship between mental illness and trauma. I am now on the road to publication, with an expected release date near the end of 2026. I’ll be posting regular updates here on my blog and on social media, so stay tuned for exciting new developments.
· The Rogue Scorpion is available online at Amazon, Chapters-Indigo, and Barnes & Noble. You can also find it at select Chapters-Indigo and El Hombre de la Mancha bookstores.
Reviews & Interviews:
· You can read, listen, or watch a large selection of reviews and interviews on my website.
Events:
· There are no events currently scheduled in my calendar.
YouTube Channel:
Watch The Rogue Scorpion trailer